Hi everyone. So, this update has been some issues relating to my family and I'm sick and tired of pretending my current homing situation is okay. So...I just wanted to write it somewhere and this is the website no one really has access to that I currently know.
So as most of you know, I will be slowly becoming less active on this website, only posting some artwork here and there due to lack of interest by my fanbase. I hardly get favourites or likes for my art anymore, and it's just becoming stressful to post here knowing that my fanbase won't even like it. However, if you're still interested, I am keeping commissions open for now. I will be still taking them, but I'm not going to be doing any specials and also due to lack of interest, I have closed art trades.
Art will definately start to be halted in August. I've got a busy month ahead of me and then I start school finally. I'm sorry for any delay.
ACTUAL life update:
So, this is going to be a bit of a vent/ramble. If you're not interested, please don't read.
So, work...isn't working out as I planned. Due to stress, I cut my hours only to run into more issues. I can't get the time to get the transfer I will need, the hours are starting to become questionable, and I'm having a really hard time actually staying awake at work. I just want to transfer departments dammit. I would like to try new things and try another job. And also..with my school hours...I have severely misjudged on how late I can work. I'm starting to get concerned...
This is a completely unrelated reason why I've also started to hate work, but it's building up. We as a group of cashiers apparently need to start making cliques now. We are working in a professional environment. There is no need for cliques dammit, you're all 18-21 (The ones making the supposed needed cliques). Grow up. There's a group of girls pretending that they need to play the essential high school role of the "mean girls" and to be honest, it's fucking stupid and I question their social intelligence. We literally work in a grocery store and this social standing is not needed and everyone thinks it's pretentious.
Anyway, I have to go through the hassle to change my hours again to fix this issue that's arisen. Hopefully, they'll understand.
This is a family rant. I will warn you. TMI too. Skip if you need to.
So, my family is now LDS based again. This means I'm the only agnostic member once again. Let me tell you: when you're the religious black sheep, any time shit goes down on you, they'll blame you for not joining a religion, not for the fact sometimes bad shit goes down. Also, they're mean to you.
The issue isn't that my family is also religious, it's the fact they pretty much use it to justify their sexism, racism, and homophobia to the point where every time I want to talk to them, I pray to the higher being wishing I wasn't related to them. My sister and my father are extremely misogynistic to the point where my dad is literally raising an eyebrow for me not wanting kids but wanting an education. He's encouraging me to get married, but to not go back to school and if I go back to school to only go back for my kid's future.
...I'm a lesbian.
...I hate children.
...I literally would have an abortion if I got pregnant. If I get punished by the higher being, whatever. They can explain how I would be able to take care of a child with my mental disorders.
...It's not happening.
My family keeps also trying to set me up with boys even though I'm officially out of the closet.
My family is very homophobic and for someone as a homoflexible, it's awkward. Of course this is a big issue i've just kind of dealt with and now that LGBT marriage is legal, they can shove it up their ignorant asses.
And...the racism part. This...is the part that is going to make me...really pissed. Okay, so my privileged family is really racist, though they say they see everyone equally. Everyone as in white males only, of course. I have a sister who is so racist I'm pretty sure she'd join the Klu Klux Klan if she was offered the chance. No, she's seriously said she probably would because she is a piece of shit like that. And my family defends it. Why? "Because (X person) was (insert any race because she is literally that racist), so it's justifiable for her to hate X entire's race."
She's also using the excuse to be LDS to get away with the shit she still does. The LDS church is very against premarital sex. She's doing it, even got pregnant once because of it. She's still doing it and is using the religion as a scapegoat, which is the reason why I'm mad she's going around telling everyone she's LDS because she's not even following the basic standards of it.
That is such bullshit right there, I want to literally punch her head in every time she uses that excuse.
I hate my family. I like literally my mom (even albiet questionably sometimes.) and my sister who doesn't even really like me. (For the record she's not problematic sister I stated above. (For the record I have three sisters and I would not like to use names for privacy). I just literally hate that I am related to such asshats who don't respect people but demand respect because of their religion.
Plus, on the top side, because I'm not as successful as my older sister, they treat me like garbage. I've...not been really advertising this because this is personal.I have anorexia nervousa. And I hate to point fingers, but it is literally their fault.
I won't eat when they're around because they judge me for what I eat. Whenever I eat something, they get all buggy eyed and judgmental and it's stupid because usually they're eating the same exact thing! My family encouraged for me to go on slimfast drinks (which btw are laxatives and are super ass bad for you), not something like smoothies when I told them I was struggling to eat. In fact, I can't touch their smoothie products because pretty much I also can't touch their fruits and veggies.
Buy your own! Yeah, if I didn't have such a low paying job where I had to use all that money to get money to move out, I would love to.
I can't cook in my kitchen anymore, and it's hard enough for me to eat at work. If I do eat, I'm stuck with gluten free products (due to my family having glucose intolerance.) And they get mad at me for "Eating their food" when it's the only damn thing in their house!
I usually can't eat until 1 or 2 PM in the afternoon and I have to make sure no one is watching. It...it's starting to get more frustrating as I continue my exercising. It's actually starting to make work harder for me and no one would really believe me at work because no one likes me there and I literally want to scream at every dumbass person who comes my way now. *Sigh*
I have no legible resources to get out of my situation and I just...ugh.
I'm glad I got that off my chest. Anyway, I've also been struggling to draw because of all this shit going down, so...
Thanks for reading.
Listening to: Drumming Song
Playing: Tomadachi Life
Drinking: Dr. Pepper.